Friday, April 22, 2005

I'm so excited!

   Look what I got today in my e-mail. According to Mr Howard Ely, managing editor of poetry.com, I am a who.

 

Dear Paul,

Over the past several months, we have been reviewing the thousands of poems submitted to us, as well as examining the poetic accomplishments of people whose poetry has appeared on the Internet and in various editions released by other poetry publishers in America and Europe. After an exhaustive examination of this poetic artistry, The International Library of Poetry is pleased to inform you that you have been nominated for inclusion in ...

The International Who's Who in Poetry

http://www.poetry.com/poetrybuy/images/whoswhobuckslip.jpg

Congratulations on your accomplishment, Paul. We look forward to publishing your biographical information on a page dedicated entirely to you. Along with your biographical information, we plan to also include in depth information about your poetry, including your motivations, the meaning poetry has in your life, and your personal philosophical point of view. In addition to dedicating a page entirely to you and your personal background, we have also reserved a second complete page that will be used to showcase a new, unpublished poem that you will provide. This means that ...

The International Who's Who in Poetry will feature two full pages dedicated exclusively to Paul Little!

And that's not all. To honor the accomplishments of the talented individuals who will be participating in this historic project, we will be awarding $4,175.00 in prizes for the best new poems we receive for publication. You are automatically eligible to win, but you must submit your biographical information and a new unpublished poem on the enclosed entry form. Prizes will be announced August 1st, with an anticipated publication date of October 2005.

The International Who's Who in Poetry will be among the finest quality and most interesting books we have ever produced. Poets from several nations around the world will be featured. Every aspect of publication and design will display an uncompromising level of craftsmanship and attention to detail. This four hundred page coffee-table quality book will be printed in two colors on fine milled paper and will feature a highly detailed, ornate cover, and quality typography throughout. It will make a handsome addition to any library, a treasured family keepsake, or a highly valued personal gift.

NO OBLIGATION WHATSOEVER

Before going any further, Paul, let me make one thing clear ... you were selected for inclusion in this project based on your unique talent and previous poetic accomplishments. We believe you to be one of the most interesting poets we have encountered, so we have set aside two entire pages that will be devoted exclusively to you and your poetry in this special edition. In this regard you are under no obligation whatsoever to submit any entry fee, any subsidy payment, or to make any purchase of any kind.

Of course, many people do wish to acquire the books that have pages dedicated to themselves and their poetic artistry. If this is the case, we welcome your order--and guarantee your satisfaction. Please see the enclosed material for special discount information if you would like to order a copy of The International Who's Who in Poetry. Also, for an additional discount, you may wish to order supplementary copies for gift-giving to your friends and family, to display, or for merchandising (see enclosed for case pack discounts).

So What Happens Now?

As soon as you submit your biographical information and new, unpublished poem, we will typeset everything for publication and your poem will be eligible to win over $4,175.00 in prizes that will be awarded to the poets who are participating in this historic project. You will receive by mail a typeset "Artist's Proof" of both your biographical information and poem for your review and approval prior to publication. And let me assure you, your poem remains your property -- The International Who's Who in Poetry is copyrighted as a compilation. This means you retain all rights to your own work of art.

Paul, please send us your biographical information and new poem right away!

In order to make our scheduled publication date, you must submit your biographical information and your new poem as soon as possible. Please feel free to include whatever personal information about yourself and your poetry that you feel would be of most interest to the reader. The new poem you submit must be original and written by you. Your poem may be 24 lines or less, on any subject, and in any style. And if you wish to order a copy of The International Who's Who in Poetry at a special pre-publication discount, please complete the Pre-publication Discount Reservation.

Again, congratulations, Paul. We enjoy your poetic artistry and look forward to dedicating two entire pages to you and your poetry in The International Who's Who in Poetry.

Sincerely,

Howard Ely
Managing Editor

P.S. Paul, you should be genuinely proud of your accomplishment. You have been nominated to participate in The International Who's Who in Poetry because of your poetic accomplishments. We are pleased that two entire pages of this historic edition will be dedicated exclusively to you and your poetry. And, if you decide to order The International Who's Who In Poetry (including supplementary discounted copies for gift-giving to friends and family, to display, or for merchandising), we are so confident that you will love the quality of the edition and the way your biographical information and poetry is presented, we can proudly offer an unconditional iron-clad guarantee. If for any reason you are not completely thrilled, your money will be promptly refunded.

Submit your biographical information and your new poem now or go to
https://www.poetry.com/poetrybuy/WhosWhoSubmitPoem.asp?VIP=P6736865&SC=D115

Click here to learn more about participating in this historic project.

Please do not reply to this message. If you no longer wish us to notify you of poetic opportunities that we believe may be of interest to you, please click here, or go to http://www.poetry.com/nl/stopemail.asp.

poetry.com * One Poetry Plaza * Owings Mills, MD 21117

 

   I'll tell you what I am. I'm speechless. People actually fall for this crap. Don't you be one of them.